Thursday, October 3, 2013
How does Augustine dramatize the moment of his conversion?
Augustine dramatizes his conversion as an intense moment where Augustine finally "gives in." to the Truth. Previous to this moment, Augustine's entire life has been building or rising to this conversion experience. In the previous chapter ,Augustine discovers Truth and how to get to Truth. Augustine claims that Truth or "that which is" proves to be God's invisible reality. "And then my mind attained to That Which Is, [...] Then indeed I did perceive your invisible reality through created things" (Book 8 17,23) Augustine later goes on to say that "I had readily chattered on the subject, and I had not yet been seeking your [God's] way in Christ." (Book 20,26) Therefore if Augustine believes God is Truth, and also believes that God's way (or the way to Truth) is in Christ, Why does not Augustine simply become a Christian? Well in Book 9, Augustine claims: "I had grown used to pretending that the only reason why I had not yet turned my back on the world to serve you was that my perception of the truth was uncertain, but that excuse was no longer available to me, for by now it was certain. But I was still entangled by the earth and refused to enlist in your service." (Book 9 5,11) He then says: "I will now relate how you set me free from a craving from sexual gratification which fettered me like a tight-drawn chain, and from my enslavement to worldly affairs." (Book 6,13) Therefore, it is not lack of knowledge which prohibits Augustine from joining the Catholic Church, but rather it is the sins and enslavements of this world that keep Augustine from converting to Christianity. Ergo, when Augustine finally experiences his conversion, the importance and intensity of the moment is enhanced because we, as the audience, can see that Augustine's entire life has been a build up to this moment. From Augustine's beginning of love for wisdom in Book 2 to Augustine 10 year- long search for Truth all the way up to Augustine's struggle against the sins of this world, Augustine life has been craving for a Conversion moment.
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Yes Augustine's narrative serves to invite the reader to cry out with him as he desperately acknowledges his need for deliverance from his fleshly desires. His "reasoned" search for truth has taken him as far as is possible. It is only supernatural intervention that will make the conversion process complete. The tears that lead up to this moment and the sense of utter helplessness are successfully communicated to the reader throughout this book. However, I do think it is worth mentioning the carefully crafted literary and symbolic structure of his conversion. Note that it takes place in a garden: a location that is heavily endowed with biblical resonance; he is under a fig tree--perhaps recalling the earlier pear tree incident. This symbolic structure affords his conversion a profound sense of order and a quiet, Holy stillness.
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